A True Christmas Song

            In my opinion a melody labeled as a Christmas Song is like a movie winning an Academy Award. There isn’t any higher honor. However just as my praise of Christmas songs isn’t universally perceived, my definition of a Christmas Song differs from the common consensus.

            We turn the radio station on and our ears are trapped by the annoying noise called “Frosty the Snowman” and “Jingle Bells”. These are the annoying non-religious jingles that get old after the first time heard. They are the rejects from the Oscars. These poorly produced tunes so desperately want to be invited. They sneak in to the ceremony only to be “escorted” out before any of their shallow notes can even set foot on the glorious red carpet. I know this is a matter of opinion, but I am sorry they are just so horrible. Yes their tune can be catchy for a half a second, but their words lack the pure holy purpose. To me the headache inducing noise is merely a holiday song. They are unworthy of beholding the honorable title of a Christmas Song. A true Christmas Song is a rich and pure melody that glorifies Christ’s entrance into our suffering world. “Hark the Herold Angels Sing” beats “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” every single time. “Mary Did You Know” doesn’t even have to attempt to defeat the weak “Jingle Bell Rock”.  The much revered “All I want for Christmas is You” will never win when it is up against the passionate and beautiful “O Holy Night”.

            These holiday songs aren't just annoying. They are evil. Their purpose is to sabotage God’s first and perfect Christmas gift. They are an excuse for not worshiping the precious present. They are a distraction from the original meaning of this O so Holy Night. “It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth” 

I Hate Santa

            I have to announce my unpopular but honest opinion. I can’t contain the brutal truth anymore. Every moment it lingers the more damage it does. I hate Santa Clause.

            That imaginary present bearing man is the only “person” I hate in this world. He undeniably stole Jesus’s spot light! Christmas is supposed to be the day the single starlight shines on beautiful baby Jesus, but now it is Santa’s Christmas lights that make that holy glow hard to see. The glitter, the pitiful materials, the obvious superficial beauty makes Santa so easy to love and Jesus so easy to forget.

            Santa is a distraction from the holiness of the season. But I am one of those who easily becomes distracted by him. Blinded by the riches Jesus warned us against. The Hollow earthly treasures. I often cannot see the light. The riches that are worthless in the Kingdom Jesus invited us too. An invite I have taken for granted.

            I have to announce my unpopular by honest opinion. I can’t contain the brutal truth anymore. Every moment it lingers the more damage it does. What I hate most about Santa Claus is that I love him. 

The First Christmas Gift

Jesus, born away in a manger, couldn’t be more separated from the Christmas Season. His birth, His past, His existence, His life, His sacrifice, His risen spirt, His humble origins are supposed to be the center. The center of Christmas. Now the tree and the presents it protects are the center. Santa replaces the nativity scene. Elf on the shelf triumphs advent. The supposed holy season is forgotten. Thrown to the side like a tree after Christmas. Jesus’s beginnings of his gracious presence in this world has infinitely greater value than the material gifts given and received. Giving is beautiful, but when the glitter of the gifts blinds us from the love behind them, they are worthless. Gifts shouldn’t be judged on their worldly value but rather on the love woven into them. We have forgotten the love that is the foundation of the first Christmas gift. A love behind every gift ever given on earth. The love of God. The expensive wrapping paper, the outrageous bows, and the bright boxes have never held a gift so dear, as the manger did on Christmas Day. 

Signs Page Explanation

              God is mysterious. God is difficult to see. God doesn’t just show up one day as the glowing white bearded man depicted in images and say “Hey, I am God. I exist.” Why though? Why can’t God just appear in a dream, and say “Whats up!? I am here.” If God did that, finding and maintaining faith would be so much easier. But if something is easy to obtain, it would be less valued than something that is hard to obtain. It is like the grades received from different classes. Last year I took the most time consuming, challenging, and stressful course I have ever taken. If you are a high school student or know one, you probably have heard of a little class called APUSH(AP United States History). I spent one to three hours every night studying, making flashcards, reading the book, taking notes on the book, and mentally preparing myself for the next quiz, test, or in-class essay. It was exhausting, but not in vain. I got an A. That A was awesome, and I still thank God today for giving me the abilities to achieve it. I got As in other classes as well. For example, for my fashion design class the grade was primarily determined by participation. So basically because I put an honest effort in that class, I received an  A. Let’s be realistic now, the effort I put into fashion design was nothing compared to the effort I put into APUSH. I didn’t need to in order to achieve the same result. I ended up receiving the same grade in both classes, but the grades were not at all equal in value. I find greater happiness when I think about my grade in APUSH than my grade in fashion design. That is simply because my A was not easy to achieve. My grade was not given to me as a delicately wrapped gift. The grade required hard work, doubt, and perseverance. My relationship with God was not easy to achieve. My relationship with God isn’t a delicately wrapped gift God just handed over to me. Building a relationship with God requires hard work, doubt, and perseverance (and a whole lot of other stuff). If God revealed Himself to me as glowing figure and said, “Hello. I am God. I am here. I exist. I love you”, I know I would effortlessly accept God into my daily lives without truly understanding His value. God would become like the sun. A reliable and inescapable constant aspect of life. So easy to accept its presence. So easy to acknowledge its importance. So easy to forget its value. So easy to not appreciate. So easy not to notice. My life wouldn’t be worth living, if I never noticed God.

            My faith in God has not been achieved through direct contact with Him. That would be too easy. My faith in God comes from indirect communication. I guess you could call them signs. Gods signs serve as validation of His constant presence with us and His endless support. Living life while noticing all of the different ways God is communicating with us is hard. It is easy to focus on the world and all of its demands, but it is hard to make time for God. However, when we fixate ourselves on God and notice His signs, God gives us something more valuable than anything on Earth. God allows us to see Him.

            I think God wants to make his presence known, but He wants to do so in a way that will keep us actively engaged. If God makes himself harder to see, we put in a greater effort to connect with Him. And because finding God is a difficult task, we are given a greater sense of glory when we do see Him. When I finally notice one of God’s signs that I desperately need, I feel like the Miracle Mets when they won the World Series. I feel like an underdog who has won the championship. The championship being Gods infinite grace. I have been filled with strong doubt, worry, and confusion that only God can and has repeatedly beaten. God is here. We just need to perceive his presence.

            God graciously gives me many messages that teach me lessons and validate his eternal love. God’s signs are one of the best paths to experiencing God’s message. That is why I wanted to make this page. To illustrate the signs I have received from God that have inspired my blog posts. I feel as though when people (myself included) talk about their faith, they do not typically talk about the personal and intimate ways God has shown Himself to them. I do not view this as in any way wrong! All of my religious blog posts I typically talk about what God does for me, and what his teaching mean. I have explained the what but not the how. I have not explained how I have come to believe what I believe. How something has come into existence is just as important if not more important than what actually is existing. I want to share. I want to explain how my faith has evolved to be what it is today. How has God shown Himself to me? How did I become a Christian? How can I be so sure about my faith? Simple. It’s all about God’s unquestionable signs. 

Thanks Be to God

           In honor of thanksgiving being tomorrow I thought I would post a little blog post about gratitude. Typically in elementary school they might have you write down what you are thankful for on a decorative sheet of paper. Their lists typically consist of friends, family, pets, and a few other points of interest. Yes their space is limited, but their list shouldn’t be limited to the most noticeable areas of gratitude in our lives.

            One day at church we watched a short video about experiencing life. Yes I know. Blah blah blah. I have heard it all before. While watching I arrogantly assumed he wouldn’t be saying anything different from what I have already heard or said. Oh how foolish I was. He would say something so much better. We are constantly told (even by me) that we must live in the moment to fully experience life. We are rarely ever told how. The creator of the video does enlighten us . He said to be completely connected to each moment or our lives, is to be grateful for each second. We have to look at what we are doing each moment and find the thanks we have to give.

       In the moment I am writing this post I can find many things to be thankful for. Not because I believe I have anymore than anyone. Because there are so many unnoticeable sources of gratitude we need to be motivated to look for. I am thankful for my parents who generously gave me the laptop I am writing on for Christmas last year even though I didn’t ask. I am thankful they work hard but also well-paying jobs that enable them to afford such luxuries. I am thankful for my ability to write and read. I am thankful for this countries and my cities amazing education system. I am thankful I got to experience that life changing video my church provided. I am thankful I attend such an amazing church. I am thankful for the man that made the life-changing video. I wish I remembered his name. I am thankful for my own room that I am writing in. I am thankful for its messiness. I am thankful for my own full sized bed.  I am thankful for my warm blankets surrounding me. I am thankful for the house my room is in. I am thankful that my two wonderful parents and three incredible sisters and I can live in it with extreme comfort. I am thankful that it is in a safe neighborhood and in a safe city. I am thankful for my overactive mind. I am thankful for this opportunity of peace.  To whoever is reading this I am thankful for you. If you know me, thank you for caring enough about me to read what I have to say. If I do not know you, thank you for giving me a chance. I could continue, but I think the list would probably be three pages too long. Again not because my life is of any more value than yours, but rather we all have so many hidden treasures in our lives.  
            There are so many aspects of life to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter if they are major or minor. We are blessed to have these priceless riches in our lives. We often forget to search for life’s buried treasures. I hope we remember to dig deeper. I also hope we remember God is the one who blesses the world with sources of gratitude. God has given this life to us as a gift. A gift that does not deserve to be wasted. A gift that deserves every aspect to be appreciated. A gift whose giver deserves to hear, “Thank You”. 

I Love Random Stuff

IMPORTANT NOTE: To understand the purpose of this piece you must read my previous blog post “What do You Love?” Thanks J

            I love blankets. I love sweaters. I love my bed. I love cold nights where I have to pile blankets on me to keep warm.

            I love the warmth and happiness of summer. I love the refreshing smell of fall. I love the beauty of winter. I love the atmosphere of December. I love the flowering warmth of spring.

            I love learning. I love being surrounded by people at school. I love how school isn’t boring as long as you make it interesting. I love reconnecting with old friends. I love meeting new ones. I love when teachers are enthusiastic. I love the unknown aspect of learning.

            I love history. I love learning about past people, society, economy, and nations. I love the different opinions on past and present. I love forming opinions from past events. I love the increased sense of understanding and appreciation we have for the present after we learn about its beginnings.

            I love music. I love how a love of music is something the majority of humans share. I love the variety of music there is to choose from. I love 5 Seconds of Summer. I love fangirling over them with my good friend. I love listening to their CD with my little sister in my car. I love how she guesses what member is singing. I love telling her if she is right or wrong. I love how she is usually wrong. I love jamming out to their song “18” with my littlest sister. I love the catchy and popular pop songs (until they are overplayed). I love classic rock. I love Queen. I love Billy Joel. I love Journey. I love AC/DC. I love Elton John. I love listening to the classic rock stations. I love listening to the classic rock stations on long car rides with my Dad and older sister. I love when my older sister and I try to guess who is singing the song playing at that moment. I love how my Dad always knows the artist. I love how songs are more than the lyrics and music. I love how songs can be memories.

            I love driving. I love my ten year old car named Woodrow. I love the freedom. I love the independence. I love that my parents were kind enough to get me my car. I love that my parents trust me to drive. I love that my parents pay half the price of Gas. I love my parents. I do not love the price of Gas. 

The Pleasure in Pain

             Lately, I have been struggling to understand the concept of pain. Pain is more complicated than just an unpleasant state of being. There are different types of pain. There are different emotions attached to the different types of pain. There are different ways of dealing with pain. There are different people who experience different types of pain. However, I have been relatively ignorant to the essence and complexity of suffering. Pain is a relatively unfamiliar topic to me. There have been a great deal of times where I have suffered from sadness, anger, anxiety, exhaustion, and many other forms of emotional pain. There have also been a great deal of instances where I have suffered stings, aches, soreness, bodily illness, and many other forms of physical pain. I just haven’t experienced pain with as intense severity as others have in the world. I am very grateful that God has spared me of such extreme pain. However, I hate, more than anything, that millions of people do experience intense suffering. I love and dislike my relationship with pain. I love how we are just acquaintances, but I don’t love how we are not friends. If we were friends, I wouldn’t be ignorant to pains character. If we were friends, I wouldn’t have the guilt of not being friends with pain while millions of others are. If we were friends, I would have a greater level of empathy for those who are also friends with pain.  I pray to God every night asking Him to end the pains of others and to allow the sufferers to allow God to strengthen them. Can I righteously ask this? Although I have had such little experience with the coexistence if pain, God, and faith, can I honestly just assume that their suffering can easily be subdued by faith in God. The correct is no. I can’t. I lack the basic understanding.

            Having faith in and praising God while life is going well is so blissfully easy. God has granted me glorious peace and happiness in situations where if I didn’t allow him in my heart I would still have peace and happiness. Please don’t misinterpret this as me saying I don’t need God. Every moment of my life when I feel Gods presence is infinitely greater in value than moments where I shut God out. The logic of my relationship with God would make it easy to assume that in moments of pain I would remain strong through faith and maintain a certain level of peace and happiness. Well for me personally quite the opposite happens. I have experienced incredibly intense physical pain before. I felt as though my stomach was being twisted, stretched, and burned all at the same time. This is not a common occurrence, but it has happened. I tried praying to God, but the pain was too much. It shames me to say in that moment of weakness I told God that I was ready to die if that meant my agony would end. My soul gave up trying to fight my suffering, but even worse I gave up on God. My surrender to pain validated that I wasn’t strong enough to let God strengthen me. I let God down.

            Months go by and I am training for a 5K with my mother. She got this app called “Couch to 5K”, and it is meant for non-athletic people to build up the endurance to run a 5K. Each workout gets harder as we slowly begin to walk less and run more. When we first started it was relatively easy, but as weeks went on it increasingly became harder to complete. I again was experiencing moments of great suffering. I tried to pray, but I found it easier to be consumed by my discomfort. It was like my pain was demanding to be felt.** I could only remain focused on my burning lungs and how every breath only fueled its fire. I couldn’t stop thinking about how my heart was beating so fast as if on the verge of explosion. My mind couldn’t begin to understand how can and how has anybody survived this kind of exhaustion. After you run, the body’s and mind’s sense of accomplishment motivates you to run another time. This is how many runners find the strength to run frequently, but I was not okay with just running for the feeling afterwards. I realized how I dealt with hurt during my runs and in general needed to change. If I want a strong and durable relationship with God, I must learn how to allow him to help me deal with pain.

            I listen to music when I run, but instead of interpreting the lyrics literally I manipulate the meanings to reflect my relationship with God. For example, the song “I’ll Be There” by Jackson Five played, and I imagined it was God singing the lyrics directly to me. God helped me this way by giving me the tools to help myself while simultaneously remaining attached to him. Each time I ran, each time I suffered, the pain consumed me less until my praise and communication to God consumed me more. While each run became more physically demanding, my spirt was lifted and distanced from the hurt by God. Each run I tried to run faster than the last, and paradoxically I suffered a little less with each run. However, listening to music while running seemed like an accessory I couldn’t afford if I wanted to genuinely receive Gods help. On the day of the actual 5K I knew I had and could run without any musical assistance. It was just me and God. I completed it to the best of my physical ability and also with a happy heart. Pain didn’t defeat me. God protected my spirt.

            Completing the 5K was not the greatest accomplishment achieved through my training process. I learned something extraordinary. Something I never thought was possible, but was the answer to my question-“How do we deal with pain?” God has answered this question, in my favorite way… A PARADOX. Thanks to Gods endless grace, I know now there is pleasure to be found in pain.

            Running has become an amazing spiritual activity for me. I have become closer to pain and effectively closer to God. Moments of pain were once the moments when I was most separated from God because I felt as though He wasn’t there. Now moments of pain have evolved to become the moments where I am closet to God because I have never been more aware of His presence. I hear God in the lyrics to songs. I feel God in my rapidly beating heart. I taste God in my dry mouth. I smell God in the crisp refreshing autumn air. I see God running alongside me and cheering me on. That strong and beautiful connection to God is the pleasure I find in pain. Faith in God exceeds experiencing only the easy and peaceful times. Having a relationship with God involves all the painful and hard situations God can change into pleasant moments. After my last run before the 5K, I did something I have never done so seriously before. I actually fell to my knees to pray. I thanked God for increasing my understanding of pain. I thanked God for the strength He has given me. I thanked God for the stronger sense of empathy for those who suffer He has blessed me with. I thanked God for giving me hope that people who are experiencing pain can reach out to Him and gain pleasure from the pain. I feel so enlightened now that I have gone through this process of confronting pain directly and coming out victorious because of God. There are personal flaws in this lesson. I know that pain shouldn’t be a goal, and I shouldn’t intentionally make myself suffer. I also know that there is so much more complexity to pain that I have yet to encounter. However, I have found a source of attainable hope. When I look at the world and see the inevitable and excruciating suffering of my neighbors, I can confidently and happily say that God can graciously give the sufferers "the strength to face all conditions" Philippians 4:13. We just have to spread Gods love.

**Credit for this idea goes to John Green (an awesome human being). It is featured in his book The Fault in Our Stars